


This Is How It Feels

by nu_breed



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:11:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nu_breed/pseuds/nu_breed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen obsesses while Jared's away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is How It Feels

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written and all Jared's fault. Shameless porn written for [](http://veronamay.livejournal.com/profile)[**veronamay**](http://veronamay.livejournal.com/) after she and I had fits over the pictures of Jared at the Scream Awards. Thanks to [](http://acostilow.livejournal.com/profile)[**acostilow**](http://acostilow.livejournal.com/) and [](http://sloane-m.livejournal.com/profile)[**sloane_m**](http://sloane-m.livejournal.com/) for inspirational images, and to [](http://twofourteen.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://twofourteen.livejournal.com/)**twofourteen** for the quickfire beta.

Jensen's always had issues with sharing, that's no great revelation. His therapist says it's because of abandonment issues or some pointless psychobabble like that. Whatever the reason, he's never been good at it, and when it comes to Jared? It's so much worse.

It fucking kills him that he can't be in LA with him; he should've been, but he had to stick around for damn pickups, and by the time he was done, it was pointless even trying to get a flight. Jared wasn't worried, maybe a little bit disappointed, but it's not like this sort of thing doesn't happen _all the time_. They're both used to it, but it doesn't stop Jensen from wanting to be there.

More so when he starts obsessively checking the image sites. Jared looks unbelievably gorgeous, and he feels his belly twist when he takes in the cheekbones and the eyes and those motherfucking eyelashes that are prettier than any girl he's known. Leather jacket looks so good on him too, and Jensen makes a mental note to tell Jared just how the look of him in leather affects him, when Jared gets home. Or maybe show him instead.

Jared's a born fucking flirt, and he loves the camera, and, well, looking at these pictures... Jensen's been on the end of Jared's eyefucking before, and it never fails to make him so turned on it hurts. Apparently still photos of it happen to have the same effect too. Jensen stares at one of the shots, Jared's eyes dark and sparkling, along with an expression that says "Come on, just fuck me, bend me over right here. You know you want to. Do it."

Jensen can't help himself, doesn't really want to either. He unbuttons his jeans and gets his hand inside his briefs, wrapping it around his cock and staring at Jared the whole time. In this picture he has beads of saliva on his bottom lip, and Jensen doesn't have a hard time imagining that he's there, kneeling in front of Jensen, his mouth wide and full as he sucks Jensen's cock the way Jensen likes it; deep and wet and perfect.

Jensen's so close already, jerking his cock hard and fast, with long, firm strokes, his thumb sliding in slickness every time he brushes the head. He gets closer and closer, his strokes more and more frantic. Jared's face is there in front of him still, looking like every fucking fantasy Jensen's ever had, and as he comes, he bites down on his lip. He can feel sharp teeth slicing into flesh and the taste of coppery blood on his tongue.

He walks to his bathroom and wipes himself off, laughing at himself in the mirror. Jared would never let him hear the end of this; getting himself off to pictures of him like it was a damn skinmag or internet porn or something. Or worse, like Jensen was a confused teenage fan, touching himself for the first time.

So yeah, he's never telling him.

For some bizarre reason unknown even to himself, Jensen decides to keep looking for pictures and the next few images he finds are of Jared with Jeff. It's so weird seeing the two of them together like this, without him there. Weird and it makes Jensen's jaw lock up a little, like it bothers him. Which is so stupid that he wants to laugh it off, because it's just Jeff. Jeff laughing with Jared, Jeff smiling at Jared, Jeff with his hand on Jared's lower back, and leaning in like he's going to...

God. Okay. It _shouldn't_ matter, but it does. It bothers him. Jared is fucking flirting his ass off and Jeff isn't exactly looking disinterested, and. Well. It's Jeff. Jensen knows all about Jared's little crush, and hell, he shared it once upon a time. Why not? Jeff's sexy and talented and he has that voice that sounds like he's been chewing on gravel.

He can just imagine the kinds of things Jeff'd whisper in Jared's ear. Things that if Jensen wasn't on the scene would have Jared bending over or getting on his knees in a fucking heartbeat.

And he knows it's ridiculous to speculate about something that _could_ happen if things were different. He knows Jared would never act on anything while he has Jensen, but it doesn't stop Jensen's blood from boiling. Doesn't stop him wanting to jump on a plane right fucking now so he can drag Jared into a corner and show him exactly just how pissed and jealous and yeah, fucking _turned on_ he is at the sight of the two of them.

Issues? Damn right he has issues, and they start with fucking six foot four of dogloving, hard-bodied, smiling, annoying co-stars who happen to matter more than anything else has ever mattered to Jensen in his life.

***

Jared gets home just after lunch, and Jensen's just about out of his fucking mind. He's tried desperately not to think about it since the night before, but he still feels like his skin's about three sizes too small, and he's jumpy as fuck on not enough sleep and too much caffeine and stupid petty jealousy pumping through his veins.

"Hey," Jared drawls. He looks tired but he's smiling wide and Jensen can't help but grin in response, walk over to him and kiss him slow and precise, even though every nerve ending is screaming for fast and hard.

"Good night?" Jensen murmurs into Jared's neck. He sucks on it, hard enough to bruise and digs his teeth in, hard.

"Ow, man."

Jared jumps a little, and Jensen pushes down on the red mark that's already formed there. He wants it to stay, and he's pleased when Jared winces. He unbuttons Jared's jeans and gets his hand inside. "Did you have fun with _Jeff_?"

Jared is half-hard and his voice sounds broken as he moves his hips, thrusting into Jensen's hand. "Not as much. Uh. Fun as I'm having now."

"Looked like you were to me," he says, staring Jared straight in the eyes. He grinds the heel of his hand up and down Jared's cock, grinning when Jared gasps in a breath and bites down on his lip.

"Man," Jared groans, "gotta." He toes his sneakers off and walks the two of them backwards. "Stuff. Upstairs. My room." Jensen shakes his head, pushes Jared down so he's lying back on the stairs.

"Ohhhhh. I get it," Jared says, honest to God motherfucking smirk on his face and his hands behind his head. Jensen wants to pin his wrists above his head and see how long it takes for that smirk to disappear.

"Jealousy's a pretty hot look on you, Jen. Guess we're staying here, then?"

"Guess we are," Jensen breathes out, and doesn't waste any time getting Jared's jeans down. "Why don't you take this off?" He gets his fingers under the hem of Jared's t-shirt and scratches his nails from Jared's abs down to his thighs.

"Fuck. Uh." Jared sits up and shrugs off his jacket, and pulls his shirt over his head. "Why can't you? Something wrong with your hands?"

"Nah," Jensen grins, "Just wanna watch you. You like that don't you, Jay? Like it when people watch you?"

Jared is leaning back on his elbows now, teeth worrying his bottom lip, and his eyes dark with want. He looks like sin. Looks like everything they warned Jensen about in bible classes when he was growing up. Long legs splayed open, and his bangs hanging in his eyes. Jensen almost can't stand to look at him, it's too much, he _wants too much_. Wants to be inside him, wants to fuck him, wants to fuck him up so bad, make him beg, screw with his head, make Jared want just as badly as he does.

"Come on, Jen," Jared's voice sounds raw, abraded, and he looks like he just might just die if Jensen doesn't touch him. He's sweating, cock hard and red and pushing up against his belly, and Jensen just swipes his tongue over the head, watches the colour rise in Jared's cheeks as he rolls his hips forward, unconsciously. "Don't make me wait, okay? Fucking _touch_ me."

And yeah, Jensen doesn't want to wait. Not anymore. Wants to run his hands over all that skin and muscle, wants to mark him up, leave more bruises and bites and scratches that make-up will have to cover up tomorrow. Wants everyone to know who put them there, too.

"Put the jacket back on," he grates out, "wanna fuck you while you're wearing it."

"Kinky." Jared laughs, but there's something else in his voice too. He pulls the shiny leather back on, and Jensen leans forward, threads the strap through and _pulls_. He shoves two fingers of his other hand into Jared's mouth and he doesn't even have to tell him what he wants, Jared just does it. Sucks on them, goes down on them, teeth scraping and tongue pushing between them.

Jensen pulls his fingers out of Jared's mouth, trails them down Jared's chest and belly and gets in between Jared's thighs, spreads them with his knees. Spreads Jared wide and shoves them in. Jensen isn't careful or slow, and he pulls tighter on the leather strap around Jared's throat as he does it. Jared's eyes are shut, and his head's thrown back, neck taut. Jensen has a brief thought about what he'd look like with a black, buttery-smooth collar buckled tight around all that skin and muscle. Jensen can feel a fucking jolt straight to his cock with that image, and he lets it go, watches Jared breathe in deep.

"Not enough fucking hours in the day for everything I wanna do to you," Jensen says, pulling his fingers out of Jared's ass, and unbuttoning his own jeans. He doesn't even bother getting completely undressed, just pushes them and his underwear down till they're around his ankles and kicks them off.

Jensen gets his hands on Jared's ass and spreads him open so he can lick him, slow and dirty.

"Fuck," Jared groans. His hands at his sides are clenched into fists and he slams one of them down on the stair next to him, fingers scratching the carpet. Jensen laughs, can imagine what that feels like, warm breath over Jared's hole, and shoves his tongue in as far as it'll go.

Jared's making those low, whimpery noises he makes when he's so turned on he can't even think, and God, Jensen loves it when Jared's like this. Needy and desperate and wanting and all his to play with. It drives him fucking crazy every time, and he can't wait any longer, has to get inside him. Jensen wipes the back of his hand over his mouth, gets Jared's legs over his shoulders, and holds them there, pushes in.

Fucking tight. God. They've never done this without proper prep before, and he can feel Jared clenching around him. Jesus, it feels amazing. Jensen searches Jared's face for any signs of pain, discomfort and when he pauses, Jared's eyes flick open.

There's so much want there it's almost uncomfortable to see, and Jensen turns his head and sinks his teeth into Jared's thigh, hard.

"C'mon Jen, fuck me," Jared urges, "'m not gonna break. Wanna feel you."

"Oh you're gonna fucking feel me, all right. For a whole damn week." He pulls all the way out and slams back in as far as he can, fucks him for real this time, fucks him the way Jared loves to be fucked, slamming in and out, deep and hard and relentless. Jared's fucking _keening_ under him now, one hand shakily jerking himself harder and faster, trying to match Jensen's thrusts.

"This is what you do to me," Jensen grates out, "you make me so crazy, man. Never wanna stop doing this to you. Ever."

"Don't have to," Jared's so close to coming, his voice is barely recognisable, and his hair's plastered to his forehead with sweat, "don't want you to, Jen. God, you're so fucking amazing."

It scares Jensen sometimes to think about how good this feels, how much he wants and needs this with Jared, scares him so much that he can't stand the thought of anyone else getting to have any part of Jared that he doesn't.

"Thinking too much," Jared whispers, "I can see that brain of yours workin'. Don't think. Just fuck."

"Bossy fucking bitch." Jensen laughs, but Jared's right, he knows how caught up in his head he gets. He'd much rather be concentrating on this, fucking Jared so hard he can't even _breathe_ and he manages to get one more thrust, pushing in as far as he can go and grinding out "Fuckfuckfuck," before he comes inside Jared in hot pulses.

"Jen. Fuck." Jared is close too; he's so fucking close and Jensen pulls out slow and careful. He slaps Jared's hand away and gets his own hand on Jared's cock, climbs forward so he can get his mouth on Jared's.

He sucks on Jared's tongue, bites his lip and chin and ear, not even thinking about what he's doing, just getting his teeth on Jared's skin.

"Fuck my hand, Jay. Wanna watch you," Jensen growls as he scrapes his teeth down Jared's throat, "wanna see you fucking lose it and come all over yourself."

"Jesus. Fucking."

Jensen pulls back so he can see Jared's face, his eyes squeezed tight and his eyelashes fluttering and God, he's so fucking beautiful like this Jensen can barely stand it. "That's it, yeah," Jensen murmurs as Jared thrusts his hips forward, driving his cock into Jensen's fist.

Jared yells hoarse and raw when he comes, a string of filth falling out of his mouth as he marks himself, chest and chin and perfect fucking throat with his own come.

"You okay?" Jensen asks, soft and low. He has carpet burn on his knees and his hand aches from jacking Jared, but he bets Jared's a lot more the worse for wear given he's the one with stairs sticking into his back and an ass that just got severely fucked.

"I'm good." His voice is raspy, and they are both going to be so fucked for work in the morning it isn't even funny. "Just, y'know, give me an hour to move."

Jensen laughs, and helps him up. Jared looks a complete wreck, his hair's all messed up, he has bruises on his throat and collarbone and he's covered in come. He looks fucking perfect. Amazing.

"Need a shower. God." Jared pulls his jeans back on and picks his T-shirt up off the floor. He turns around and walks up the stairs, slow and shaky, turns his head and grins at Jensen, "Well? You comin' or not?"

Jensen thinks that Jared is probably going to be the death of him. He doesn't mind one little bit.


End file.
